My 25th Anniversary Letter - Livin' the Good Life
Nov. 26th, 2006
10:03 am - My 25th Anniversary Letter
I don't have a lot going on in my head today... just feeling grateful, grateful, grateful. HOW did I get so lucky?? My husband loves me and gives me all the space in the world to be who I am and to follow my interests. (I hope he would say I do the same for him. Steve?) He is a GOOD MAN. This moves me to post a letter that I wrote over 10 years ago. Our dear friends, Bob and Wanda, gave us (I should say "me", because Steve was in on it) a surprise 25th anniversary party. All our friends came. I was so touched! Later, I wrote everyone who attended the following letter in response to the many questions we got, to the effect of: "How have you stayed together so long and still seem happy?" I know my previous post on "divorce" echoes what I wrote years ago. But, it's interesting that I'm still singing the same (happy) tune years later:
To those who threw us a surprise party:
Thanks so much for helping us celebrate 25 years of marriage. Steve and I often talk about what has made the difference for us. As with every couple, we have gone through rough times…even rough years! And we are still not immune to discontentment in our relationship. But, we keep coming back to the fact that there is an important spiritual aspect to marriage that helps to transcend the inevitable problems that come up in every marriage. Our understanding of it is that we are not really married to physical people or personalities. We are, in a sense, married to God…the Godly nature in each other. That nature never changes, is always good, always lovable and always there. When we marry, we are making the commitment to love this nature in our partner…even if these qualities are not apparent in their behavior at the moment. So, when our partner’s personality is annoying or at odds with ours, we remember the part that we’re really married to, the important part, and love that. It’s amazing how things turn around on the material level when the spiritual level is acknowledged and honored. We are God’s children, and we love each other as such. Personality traits come and go, moods come and go, life passages come and go, but God, with us, never changes, never gets divorced, never forsakes…just loves, loves, loves, always.
May you and your loved ones know and practice this little “secret to success” in relationships. To my knowledge, it’s the only one that really works.